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[ENG]Журнал Похищенного. Часть 1. Пробуждение и осознание успокоительной Правды

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Journal of an Abductee - Part 1 - An Awakening, and the Realization of an Unnerving Truth

For a while now, I've had in mind to start a series about my own life experiences. Many of us have gone through various process of awakening, and realizations that the world is not quite what we were raised to believe. My experiences (like those of many) are not particular topics of socially acceptability among some audiences, either due to closed minds, or due to fear of the possibility that those who speak of such things may actually be telling the truth. Maybe both situations apply. Either way, my life has primarily been wrought with these other-worldly experiences, and I think it's about time I brought them into the light, whatever the result (or the reaction) might be.

Be advised, not all of these experiences are exactly pleasant to read about. If you are a person who doesn't feel comfortable discussing such topics, you may want to read one of my other articles.  If you are someone I may know in real life, who didn't know any of these things about me, prepare to hear some things you didn't expect to. Overall, if you are interested in hearing these otherworldly stories from my life, read on.

There are more stories to tell than I am able to count.  So it took me some time to decide where to start. I may as well tell you about the first time I became fully aware of these involuntary, nighttime excursions. This was a few years back during the hay-day of my awakening. I had recently joined two community groups on meditation and intuitive practices, and was well on my way to learning a great deal about the otherwise, hidden truth of the world around me.

Life was extremely difficult then as I had just gotten out of a traumatic experience trying to live in a deceptively closed-minded city, which I expected to hold more opportunity than my experience lent. My career had come to a screeching halt do to my failing health, loss of energy, and the consequent loss of the mental and emotional fortitude it took to sustain it all on my own. To add, I had also just made a decisive exit from an abusive church organization/cult which bore much resemblance to the one I was raised in. All of these factors combined made life seem pretty ridiculous at the time. There wasn't much that I had to hope in back then. (I would later receive more devastating news, but luckily, the hardship didn't all fall on my head at once.)

There are many details I could give you about my awakening experience—many of them were amazing beyond even my comprehension, but for now, I will keep things short and get to what I'm sure you're waiting to hear.

There have been countless hints in my past that things were very wrong with regard to my nighttime surroundings at home. Any time I would turn the lights out I would typically here strange sounds that I couldn't explain (coming from right next to me), objects sliding across my desk (a level, stable surface) across from my bed, and then there were the spotty, disjointed memories I seemed to have of occurrences which were anything but normal. It wasn't that I had never had strange experiences before, it was just that I never bothered to take notice. I didn't realize that there might be a connecting factor among most of them. One night, that all change.

I was getting ready to go to sleep just like always—shower, tooth-brushing, setting my alarm clock—per my normal routine. I turn out the light and get in bed, but as I laid there, I noticed that something was different. After a few minutes I began to notice noises coming from outside my window.  (I lived in a relatively quiet neighborhood at the time so there wasn't much noise to begin with.  The backyard was small and fenced in.  There were never many animals around.  At least not that I ever saw.  I would imagine that w few nocturnal animals would stroll through every now and then, and wasn't really expecting to see anything new that night.)

At a certain point, I realized that the noises coming from outside my window didn't at all seem random, like the wind usually does. (It was fall a the time, so I could hear the wind through the trees outside my window, as well as the quiet rustling of dry leaves blowing across the ground.) Still I tried not to take much notice, but my obliviousness would not last long.

At one point, I got the feeling that I was being watched, even though I was completely alone in a dark, enclosed room with closed blinds.  At the same time, I realized that the sound of leaves crunching outside near my window was somehow reacting to me, and whenever I took notice, they quieted down. Naturally, I didn't feel good about this at all. In weeks later, I would very much take notice of these sounds, but that night I ended up excusing it away as some animal and going to sleep. However, this night would be anything but normal.

I awakened to the scene of my room, but it wasn't at all normal. Everything was warped as though someone took my normal field of vision and stretched it out length-wise. Another aspect of this view which was definitely off, was the fact that everything was bathed in an iridescent, blue light. Upon seeing this bright light in my room, I simply thought it was morning and that it was time to get up, only I'm pretty sure I couldn't move. It was only seconds before I heard a drill behind my head. The sound was unmistakable. It didn't sound like anything you could buy in a hardware store. The RPM was too high for that, plus there seemed to be two tones within that rotational sound (one higher in pitch than the other).

It wasn't long after I heard the drill that I felt the drill boring into an area of my skull that should have killed me (near the base of the occipital bone). One would expect to feel some type of pain upon having their skull drilled, but my experience was different. In a way it was much worse. The moment the drill made contact with my head, I'm pretty sure I died, or came pretty close to death. I lost control of all movement and went limp, my eyes would no longer move, yet I could still see out of them somewhat, and my tongue became a lifeless hunk of flesh in my mouth. I'll never forget the way my tongue retracted and flopped to the back of my mouth. I imagine the only way such a thing could happen is if one's heart stopped.

This would be a shorter ordeal compared to others. I had no conscious memory of anything else that happened that night, but when I woke up I was understandably confused. Part of me knew that I wasn't dreaming. I remembered what I saw and what I felt, and that the scene that I experienced, as I laid there unable to move, was not at all my room, but only projected image.  (Through later experiences, I'm now convinced that the image of my room was some sort of manipulated illusion.)

The memory was only one aspect of the ordeal. When I awoke that morning, I had a headache like no other I have ever experienced, but it wasn't just a headache. I had experienced constant migraines during my college years to the point that I just learned to deal with the pain, as I knew life wasn't going to stop for me. This headache, however, was no migraine. This was a razor sharp, stabbing pain inside my head which started where the drill had apparently entered my skull. It wasn't just a pain though. The stabbing sensation was shifting as though something were moving inside my head. (I remember the pain being so severe that I found myself shutting one eye or the other, depending on which direction it moved.)

I have heard of different types of implants from stories of alien abduction. Some are actually solid and can be seen in an X-ray scan, but others are more difficult to detect. There are also those which are not physical at all, but more etheric or multiphasic. (Of course I realize this is unknown technology, but if you've come this far with me, you're obviously open-minded enough to imagine the possibility.) These implants can't be seen or detected because they exist in such a way that they are out of phase with base-level energetic resonance of our density, yet still they interfere with the body. It was probably one of these etheric implants which was placed in my head, if any, as a solid drill to the brain-stem would most-likely kill a person. Then again, it did feel as though I died.

I would live with this headache for months. Even still, I couldn't tell any of my typical friends what I had experienced. Sadly, society seems to be deliberately designed in such a way that when people have these problems, everyone is socially obligated to turn a blind eye, become rudely skeptical, or think the person to be crazy (not that I haven't considered that possibility as well). So no one speaks up, but these occurrences are as real as anything else a person experiences, whether or not society exhibits the courage to explore such possibilities. I knew of the reaction I would most likely receive from average people. So I kept this horror to myself, but not forever.

I consider myself very fortunate that I did have such an open-minded couple of friends in my community meditation groups. If it weren't for them I may not be here today. So I owe them quite a bit of gratitude.

As I said, there are countless stories I could write about from my own personal life. Most of these subjects are no big deal for me, though they are fairly revealing into my person life. So it would simply be a case of protecting identities and the privacy of those involved. This short account is fairly disjointed without the entirety of the picture to consider, but hopefully in time, I can write more of this out. I know there are countless people who have quietly suffered for lifetimes, as I have, without an open ear to hear their story. I intend to change that.

For those who haven't been informed on the matter, there is a sort of partial disclosure occurring presently, where some of the secrets of space, of the possibility of life on other planets, and government crimes against humanity, are slowly being revealed to the public. The catch about this disclosure is that those initiating it do not at all intend to tell us the entirety of the truth. They intend to only give the aspects of truth which are to their own advantage to reveal, without caring much about the ethical obligation to fully disclose.

I mention this partial disclosure because it is this string of half-truths that is intended to allow people like me and countless others to continue suffering for a lifetime. While we are denied any knowledge of life on other planets, every one of these abduction/experimentation programs (which currently use human-kind as lab rats) will be free to continue for another century. I don't intend to let this happen. The fact is that the more we speak up, the greater the chances we have of gaining our freedom, not just from this night-time torment, but from the establishment that is willfully perpetuating it.

One interesting fact to note is that as I was writing this, the energy in the room changed to a very low vibration. I have developed some pretty effective protection protocols (as well as some rather effective intuitive ability) which have kept me free from this nighttime nuisance for a while now, but after I started composing this article, it was though “they” went into overdrive.

My protection was no longer enough, and the presence of these exploitative beings was palpable--even audible--before I went to sleep (taps on the walls, the typical, sturdy bump on the side of my bed to see whether or not I've fallen asleep (a common occurrence), and the trademark static charge in the air). Their presence brings a very uncomfortable vibe to the room. It's the prickly sensation that comes with the hair on the back of the neck standing up. Only this energy normally stands all of the hair on my body up on end. I have never felt it during the day until I started writing this article. I get the feeling they dislike the fact that they are being outed, which gives me quite a bit of satisfaction in writing all of this down. (I received a synchronizing, numeric message the moment I wrote the previous sentence.)

I would like to write more on these topics, but for now, I will give you a list of facts about my experiences so as to paint a clearer picture of my life's ordeal.

Recently, the website HumansAreFree.com published an article which listed 72 different characteristics most people with previous abduction experiences have faced. You may find it interesting to know that I have experienced most of them for as long as I can remember. Here are a few of the symptoms which are most pertinent to me.

1 – LOST TIME: A period of time, from minutes to several days, in which you cannot recall what happened to you or what you have done.

This wasn't apparent at first, but at times when I wake up at night, I am wide awake. Instead of being groggy from deep sleep, I am fully alert (as though I had never fallen asleep at all), and can't remember ever falling asleep to begin with. I can't remember any dream, or any experience prior to waking up. At these times, I have felt as though I have been mind-wiped.

The one factor that separates my missing time from any typical sleep experience is that there have been nights when I could actually feel my eyes being forcibly closed even though I was not at all tired. (This happened to me the night before writing this edition.) When I went to open them, I had to strain in order to do so. It was as though some force was inducing sleep outside of my own will or tiredness.  This is not at all how I normally fall asleep.

2 – UNUSUAL MARKS: Scars on your body, scoop marks, laser cuts in series on ankle, wrist or back. Any scars which you’re unable to explain where you got them from.

I have both external and internal marks that I cannot explain. I have five evenly-spaced scars on the outside of my left arm which have faded over time, but that I could never explain. I have woken up with tiny spots of congealed blood in places which were clearly covered by clothing when I went to sleep. In the morning, the blood would be fresh, and I don't remember taking the time to get out of bed remove my own shirt and poke myself with a surgical tool during the night.

At times, I have woken up feeling as though I had just had back surgery. I can't always see the marks very well because they have typically been in the center of my spine (or just to the side), but the pain has been unmistakable (like I had just had fluid drawn).

4 – BEING WATCHED: A feeling you get, during or just prior to sleep at night.

I've covered this, but to add a few other details... The feeling watched isn't the half of it. I have heard and felt bumps on the side of my bed right as I fall asleep, as though I being checked to see if it is safe to move me. (This is when I usually call for extra protection.) I have heard bumps and knocks on the walls, tangible stomps on the floor right next to my bed. I have no roommates, no pets, and no adjacent pranksters of any kind. When this happens, I am alone.

5 – SLEEPWALKING: You wake up in a different place from where you went to sleep and do not know how you got there. (As detailed in my book, I did this from age seven to age sixteen.)

I used to sleepwalk when I was younger.

There have been many times, when I was being “walked” back to my bed among beings who were clearly not human ("greys"). This only happened twice to my recollection. However, I cannot say that I woke up from sleepwalking in a different place.

6 – SEEN A UFO: During your life you’ve seen UFO’s or seen strange lights in the sky. (Many times, in my teenage years, I saw silver discs, very high in the sky.)

There have been times (this was before I knew what these beings were) when I thought that these beings were benevolent, and I would ask to see one of their craft. Four times, on separate occasions, I saw a golden streak that was moving far too fast to be a shooting star. Two of these were in the exact same place in the sky two nights in a row.

8 – UNEXPLAINED MEDICAL PROBLEMS: Sudden illness, sinus problems, fatigue, migraines or rashes.

I was always complaining of aches and pains as a child. There didn't seem to be any explanation for any of them. I didn't hurt myself much, and there were no outward signs that anything was wrong, but still these pains would come and go.

I have already converted the subject of migraines. I had a problem in college with fatigue that no amount of caffeine could remedy. Every day, come 2 pm, wherever I found myself, I was falling asleep.

There are many other health problems common to the abduction experience, but I may save those for another time.

9 – UNABLE TO SLEEP: You experience insomnia by way of nightmares, dreaming of UFO’s or being devoured by animals with large black eyes. (Usually associated with common wild animals such as owls, coyotes or wolves.)

I've had the worst time falling asleep at night when I was younger. This has recently improved, but overall, I don't count on falling asleep immediately at night.

13 – PSYCHIC ABILITIES: You suddenly feel as though you have obtained some degree of psychic ability without any explanation for it.

There have been many times when I've discovered new abilities of mine which have helped me accurately perceive things I have no physical means of knowing. I'll save the details for another time, but for now, I will tell you that I have successfully seen straight through playing cards and accurately guess multiple cards in a row.  That night, after discovering this, I received some unwanted guests.

14 – PARALYZED IN BED: Waking with immobility. For some reason you cannot move your body for a few seconds or minutes.

My entire childhood is blanket with these experiences. Not only would I wake up paralyzed, but I would see several dark figures in the room, out of the corner of my eye, just standing there staring at me.

15 – BALLS OF LIGHT: Flashes of light or beams of light glimpsed through the corner of your eyes or seen directly, head on in your bedroom at night.

I see these all the time now. The night I started writing this article, I saw a door of light directly at the foot of my bed. This was out of the corner of my eye, and for only an instant. (There were no such lights on in my house, and it was completely dark outside.  No car lights or reflections could have caused this either.)

16 – DREAMS OF FLYING: Repeated dreams of having the ability to fly or of flying over your house or a familiar area.

I have been flying in my dreams since young childhood.

17 – STRONG MEMORY: A very strong memory of something unusual such as floating through the air, lying upon an examination table, seeing a hypodermic needle or seeing a strange, skinny baby.

I have countless memories like this. The most notable one didn't need a memory. This was when I woke up in my bed, wide awake with retinal fatigue. This was strange because you can't get retinal fatigue in a completely dark room with your eyes closed, and if you could, the image doesn't typically look like three greys taking a selfie.

Yes... I actually woke up with that image on my retinas. There may have been another type of being there as well. They were bathed in bright light and were just sitting there staring back at me.

19 – YOUR MISSION: You become aware of a strong sense of duty, a mission in life. You have a compulsion to fulfill a task in life but you don’t know exactly what it is or why you have this feeling.

I have had this feeling for a long time. This feeling seemed to be separate from my identity as a star-seed. This was something different which gave me the feeling that I wasn't supposed to talk about.

20 – “SPECIAL”: You have a feeling that secretly, known only to yourself, you are special or chosen by someone, somehow.

Yeah, I've had this too, for most of my life. I don't know how much of it is my true soul speaking, and how much of it is just psychically-programmed fluff.

21 – UNEXPLAINED EVENTS: You have had occurrences in your life which you cannot understand or explain to anyone.

There are countless events like this which I plan to write about in the future. The most revealing of these was the time was barely awake in the morning and felt an itch on my nose. Just as a pre-consciousness reflex, I reached up to brush my nose. As I did, I felt a long, solid object protruding out my right nostril. The moment I did this, I heard an alarm-type of sound followed by a quick sniffing/snorting and scurrying sounds, but before I could open my eyes, the room was silent.  When I opened them, no one was there.

22 – PSYCHIC: You have had the experience of knowing something was going to happen before it happened and then – it did happen!

This has happened more times than I can count. There was one instance when I was a kid where I was at an open-house at someone else's school. There was a clown there who was making balloon animals for some kids in a circle. When he got to me, I didn't really want one, but I said yes anyway. I was certain that when he got to me, my balloon would pop before he was done. This was the reason I didn't want one. Sure enough, when he got to me, not two seconds into the formations of my giraffe did that balloon animal pop in his face.

This alone isn't very significant, but combined with the others, it is pretty revealing.

24 – STARTLED: You awaken in the night, sometimes frequently, feeling a sense of panic or anxiety for no apparent reason.

This has happened to me more times than I can count. One night, as a child, I woke up terrified to move (unsure as to why, but still in a panic), and kept the covers over my head as though my life depended upon it.  At one point I mustered up the courage to move, but as I did, the covers came off of my head for a split second. That second was more than enough to see “reason" for my fear staring back at me. That topic is for another article though.

25 – PICTURES OF ALIENS: You have an aversion to looking at any picture or drawing of an alien, similar to the greys shown on the cover of the book: “Communion”.

..."Check". Even creating the cover-art for this article was difficult for me. So was reading the book “Communion” by Whitley Strieber.

28 – SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS: You have experienced that low worth feeling much of your life.

This is common among those who have been treated as I have since birth. I get on with my life though, and realize that the problem is only as big as I allow it to be.

30 – CRAFT OR ALIEN: You have someone in your life who claims to have seen a UFO, been abducted or has witnessed missing time.

I have met other people who have had similar experiences.

31 – BLOOD: You have had times when you found blood, or small drops of blood on your pillow with no explanation how it got there.

Yes, but I covered that earlier.

32 – UFO’S OR ALIENS: You have had an interest in these topics in your mind with no idea why.

I actually made up a comic book/story line in which I was the hero. This was when I was in high school. I was extremely interested in art, and would receive numerous compliments on my artistic abilities. The hero of this particular comic was an abductee, and the aliens gave him super powers which he would use to save the world in different ways. ...Still waiting for those super powers, by the way.

37 – NOSE BLEEDS: You have had nose bleeds at some time in your life without apparent cause or you have awoken with a nose bleed. (I had nosebleeds from childhood through my teenage years.)

Yes, and it's not really a mystery as to why anymore, considering the time I woke up with a nuclear cooling rod sticking outta' there.

40 – ELECTRONIC MALFUNCTION: Certain electronic appliances, (computers, digital watches, etc.) seem to malfunction in your presence with no explanation. Street lights going out when you walk under them or radio and television being affected when you walk by.

In my college years, I slept on a couch for some time with a TV across from me. Several nights I was there, for no apparent reason, the TV would turn itself on, and turn its own volume to full. ...And no, I didn't fall asleep on the remote. I image that could have other explanations though.

41 – RINGING IN THE EARS: Frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears on just in one ear.

I will experience this several times per week.  Though I realize that many other people do as well.  This, alone, doesn't automatically translate to having the experiences in question.

42 – BEHIND YOUR EYE: A headache, especially in the sinus, or in just one ear.

One or twice a month, I will have this problem.  The pain is fairly intense, but compare to other experiences, it's not that bad.

43 – MEDICAL PROCEDURES: Dreams of doctors doing medical procedures upon your body.

In my minds eye, I will see needles being inserted into my body in places where I experience unexplained pain and numbness.

53 – DON’T TALK: You have the feeling you should not talk about these things or that you are not supposed to talk about these things.

Oops... Clumsy me! Yeah, I don't bow to fear much anymore. Life's to short to have such limits.  Also, when you experience such intense terror for as long as I have, eventually it begins to loose its bite.

54 – SLEEP AGAINST THE WALL: You feel you must have your bed against the wall.

I've always had this feeling.  Although, my bed is now in the center of my room.


Though this isn't a dead give-away to being abduction-prone, it is included on my list. I haven't learned how to do this on purpose, but I have done it numerous times. I could write several articles on the subject.

67 – EXPERIENCE FLASHBACKS – (Strange craft, conference, corridors, glowing-misty oval room with table, alien exam, instruments, babies, hybrid children, ufo sightings, etc.)

All of the above apply. I will have many articles to write on each of these.

72 – AWAKE IN OTHER POSITION/PLACE  (I was sleepwalking, I thought, at a young age and my Grandmother awakened me in the front yard in the middle of the night!)

Yes. I covered this in another category above. I was known in my family as being a “crazy sleeper” because I was always in obscure positions in the morning. In actuality, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, when I don't have "interference", that is.

One interesting fact that I found out after the first night of writing this article is that these beings do not want to be discovered, discussed, or outed for what they really are. It is typical that the “grey” type of alien is the culprit for these types of abductions, though they are not the only ones involved. Though the currently accepted dogma of the scientific establishment blindly precludes nonsense when discussing such matters, I am not as mentally inflexible as establishment claims that I should be.

The universe is a big place, and until I see all of it, I don't know what's out there. This is real logic. Any ignoramus can walk around claiming to know what is and what isn't. Many of those with science degrees will often pretend to know more than they actually do simply because they are used to (even addicted to) the attention and admiration that comes from the illusion of knowledge and intelligence.

There is a big difference between such people and those with authentic intelligence.  A few of the marks of true intelligence are an open mind that is curious to hear more, the avoidance the of drawing of immediate conclusions, and the refusal to depend upon opinions of others to dictate reality to one's self.  In my life's experience, I have done my best to exude each of these traits.

I have had quite an experience trying to recount all that has happened to me over the years in this subject. I didn't think I would be able to get any of this out, as specially in a way that would be seen by thousands of people I've never met, but for what it's worth, I'm kind of glad I did. If my experiences can help spark a greater awakening and self realization among people, than I think it's worth it.


Часть 2
This is the second installment of my own account of the “otherworldly”, nighttime experiences I've had throughout my life. I have honestly put off writing any more on the subject with the memory of the problems I had immediately after the last article I wrote on this topic. I made it clear though, to those responsible for those occurrences that if they left me alone, they wouldn't have much to worry about (as they seem to be afraid of being outed for what they truly are). (To be clear, I don't typically set out to blackmail anyone. Unfortunately these beings don't really care about honesty, sincerity, or integrity of any kind.) As expected, that didn't take. So now, they get another moment in the spotlight.

Once again, if anyone doesn't feel comfortable reading about the subject of abduction and negative greetings from off-world beings, you may want to read another article of mine. If you know me and didn't know these things, get ready for an interesting ride.

In my last entry, I wrote about the first instance where I realized that something wasn't right, and that I was most likely a frequent flying of the not-so-preferable kind. In this article, I want to tell you what it was like the first time I told my then-roommates what I was going through.

The Talk and the Interruption

It was after a few weeks to a month or so of having these nighttime terrors visit and revisit me at my weakest state. I was waking up in the morning with cuts, scrapes, and small, surgical marks on a semi-regular basis. I didn't have the presence of mind to take pictures or to keep a record of everything that happened to me then. (Though now, I have to decided to start.)

I took a nap one afternoon, and woke up with this spot on my left hand.
It was not there before I went to sleep.

It started as a spot of congealed blood, and then scabbed over.

I was tired of all of it, and eventually, I stopped caring what people thought. I had to let my roommates in on the secret. So one night, I decided to tell the two of them.

We were just sitting down and talking about gaming when I started asking them questions about nighttime experiences. They never had anything out of the ordinary happen, and couldn't really relate to me there. I asked them if they heard anything outside at night. (I heard strange noises and small footsteps on a regular basis. These were not animals as I could tell they were tall enough to see me through my window, 4 feet above the ground. Plus animals don't shine focused lights at your face through your window when your eyes are closed.) Neither of them had heard anything.

At the time, we were talking in one of their rooms (on the first floor). I was sitting at a computer desk, one of them was standing in the doorway, and the other was walking around picking things up as we talked. Then I dropped the news.

I think I made a reference to a few movies that had scenes similar to those I had experienced. I told them about the drill, the lights, the sounds, my headaches. I think I showed them a few marks. I could tell they were listening intently, but didn't know what to think, but the conversation wasn't the most interesting part of this story. Yes, it was revealing, but the most memorable part was what happened after I started speaking in detail about my experience.

As I was recounting my ordeal, in mid sentence, I was interrupted by the sound of crunching leaves under footsteps getting closer to my roommates closed window. It was fall time, and the leaves were dry. So there was no mistaking the sound. The pace sounded like one 6-foot tall, bipedal being walking at normal stride. The backyard was fairly enclosed, and the neighborhood where we lived was nice enough to leave one's door unlocked without much of an issue. There had never been any prowlers before this moment, but even if there were, the whole point of prowling is to sneak around without being noticed. These footsteps held no intent of stealth behind them. Whoever was making them sounds most definitely wanted to be noticed.

The Fourth Kind (2009)

There were four steps (crunch, crunch , crunch , crunch) all leading up to my roommates window and stopping right beside it. The blinds were closed, as it was nighttime. At that moment, we all froze, and at the exact same time, and the same slow pace, all of our heads turned and faced that window. No one said a word.

After a few moments of dead silence, I finally broke the trance of fear and apprehension by turning and looking at one of my roommates with a look of proof on my face. He nervously smiled and said, “Maybe it was a rabbit”.

Some things are just more than some people can handle, I guess. Rabbits don't cause the involuntary body language of fear. Both of these roommates knew something was very wrong about this situation, but their fear prevented them from taking the steps necessary to consider all possibilities within the situation. In that moment, fear guided them to deny their own senses.

Upon hearing this sound, one of my roommates wanted to get rid of this unnerving feeling. He immediately left the room, turned on the light in the back yard (where his window faced), opened the door and went outside to confront the situation. Nothing was there. There was no sound, no footsteps; nothing. Of course they used that as proof that nothing had happened and that we all simultaneously imagined the whole thing. However, such denial is not a luxury I have. Nor has it ever been.

So at that point, at least in my house, as far as moral support was concerned, I was alone. (They really don't want me writing this, by the way. I'm getting dizzy trying to write these words, but they're the ones who made this bed, and it's time for them to lie in it. Never mess with a man with a keyboard.)

Considering the Possibilities

It would not be fair to make such claims on a website focused upon discernment without considering all possibilities of the situation. In this case, I would have to consider the possibility that I am completely nuts, and that I somehow fabricated a lifetime of trauma and abuse. It is possible that I somehow received abuse from a very human and very disturbed person or group, and that my experience was so traumatic that it caused me to superimpose the image of a feared villain over the actual identity of my oppressor. I realize that this does happen, or that it could be induced via drugs of some kind, but this is not likely the case.

I have never done any hallucinogenic drugs, or abused any substance. I have no mental imbalance or disorder that would cause any delusion, and to my knowledge, I only have one personality to speak of. No one around me growing up had any such stories to give me any suggestion, and I had no reason to be so terrified of the classic images of greys. Yet I was. These images and situations seemed very familiar to me, even early on, though many of them were disjointed in my mind.

This phenomenon has followed me on cross-state road trips, and has influenced me both in waking life, and during nighttime visions. (I say visions because, unlike normal dreams, these scenarios never incorporate actual humans in them. Only large, empty rooms and spaces with no life in them whatsoever.) These situations seem to be produced by individuals who have no clue how to mimic human behavior, how to evoke human emotion, or to understand something like emotional fear. Time and time again, these militant greys have proven themselves completely ignorant of what it is to be human, or the value of life outside of their own.

The swan has been a common 'screen-image' used on me.

There have been times when I was implanted with the idea that I shouldn't have friends or a relationship with any woman because they would only hold me down. (This idea was implanted with the screen memory and image of a swan or goose.) This was at a very young age, and would have serious consequences in my life experience. It could be said that such beings care nothing about actual health outside of their own experiments, considering their impact. The negative impact does not at all stop them. They see the damage and trauma they cause and just keep right on going, decade after decade. Again, I would say that either these beings care absolutely nothing about human life outside of their own advantage, or they don't at all understand the value of life.

So the question of whether or not these beings are human is not really a concern, though I have no reason to believe that they are. They are too short, too cold and heartless to be anything even close to warm-blooded human or benevolent beings of any kind. If my lifetime of experiences were drug-induced, they would not be so consistent or contiguous. I have not been conditioned to the point where any "voice-of-god" technology would be so effective on me that I could be fooled so easily. This leads me to the conclusion that these events are actually happening in the physical world, and most likely beyond.

Voice to Skull - What You Need to Know about Mind Control Technology

The repetitive cycle of these events has a calculated methodology to it; one of meticulous precision in psychological, manipulative expertise, combined with ruthless persistence and emotionless determination. This has lead me to believe that these beings are either A.I., or possibly controlled by A.I. on a higher level.

My Implants

At this point, I would like to talk about the subject of implants, as it reveals a great deal about my situation. My last article on this subject discussed one such implant which was seemingly placed in a very vital part of my skull. In any other situation, this process would have killed me, but this may have been completed on another plane of existence. (I don't claim to know everything about alternate levels of reality though I do know that there are numerous scientific theories which suggest that they do exist.)

Journal of an Abductee - Part 1 - An Awakening, and the Realization of an Unnerving Truth

The source, Cobra, has written some interesting material on the subject of implants. Here is what one of his articles from June, 2015 has to say on the subject.

Plasma implants were first put into surface humanity population 26,000 years ago. Each time just before an individual was incarnated, he was re-implanted again. In this way, the surface population was kept in amnesia for the whole 26,000 year cycle.

The implants were maintained by implant stations below the surface of the planet and throughout the Solar System, and kept replenished with fresh anomalous plasma from interplanetary and interstellar space.

An implant is a plasma black hole with an approximate diameter similar to the diameter of an electron (10-17 meters). It is rotating in a strong magnetic field which produces an antigravitational effect on the plasma.

The network of implants in the plasma energy bodies of the surface humanity is the deepest hole of the collective subconsciousness and the basis of the planetary plasma anomaly accretion vortex.

The implants in the frontal lobe of the brain compromise the decision making process and keep the person separated from the Source. The implants in the reptilian brain cortex keep the person locked into survival fears and thus susceptible to become a slave worker for the central banking system. The implants above the navel separate heaven from Earth, a man from a woman, emotions from the mind and love from sexuality. They fragment the personality and block the flow of kundalini life force. They suppress the emotions, which lower their vibrational frequency from joy into pain, then further into anger, and down into sadness, further down into fear, then apathy and finally into unconsciousness. This is the reason why many people feel nothing.
I consider the intel from Cobra to be interesting and informative, though at times, it can be fairly cryptic. Sometimes, I find myself having to take this information with a grain of salt or two, as he has stated before that greys were no longer appearing to people. It may be that on some level this is true on average. Even still, after my life's experiences, I have found myself to be a little different than "average".

I knew that I had implants on some level, but I didn't know that they were affecting my health and the way my body functioned. This brings me to the next subject--trying to get rid of them.

About two years ago, my quality of health and life were steadily decreasing. My energy was through the floor, my pain was through the roof, and I had muscle spasms so severe they were waking me up from dead sleep in complete agony. There was nothing that I knew of that could help at all. I didn't want to see my doctor because I knew the news would not be good. (It wasn't, but it took me about 6 months to a year to finally go.) Even still, I was trying every homeopathic remedy I could find to try and help and to figure out what was going on. One friend of mine told me about the process of implant removal and that there was one source that did it in a way that was more unique and more thorough than others. So I decided to give them a chance.

There were quite a few steps that I had to go through in order to have my removal completed. After taking a questionnaire, and having my reading done, I finally got to the actual removal process. After this process was complete, I received an analysis and explanation via e-mail as to what was found within me, and how to proceed afterward. When I saw my analysis, I didn't think much of it, but when I showed it to other knowledgeable people, they were shocked as to how many implants I had, and at the variety of sources these implants came from. Here is that analysis.
To be honest, I have no clue why so many races would be so interested in me that they would want to fill me with so many devices. I don't at all consider myself "special" for the fact, but for some reason, all of these groups are keeping a close eye on me. Maybe they know something I don't. Whatever the answer is, no one seems to be very interesting in telling me as much as they are interested in parallelizing me and taking samples and scans.

I realize that there are positive E.T.'s out there, but it seems that they have no problem being overshadowed by the negative, military types. According to sources such as Corey Goode and Cobra, as well as literal sources such as the Law of One text, the Earth has been under quarantine for some time now. According to the Law of One, one specific quarantine has been in affect for a number of millennia, and was put in place so that Earth could continue to progress naturally and uninterrupted by off-world'ers. If this is the case, it confuses me as to why the lives of myself and so many others have been so thoroughly devastated by these alien intrusions and apparent acts of sabotage.

It has been so common to have the most negative, horrendous, and fearful encounters from those who could easily be considered some of the most soulless and heartless beings in the universe, but when it comes to the benevolents, they are nowhere to be found. This also confuses me. If this quarantine is being honored, why was my life so thoroughly sabotaged before it ever began? It seems that the only ones respecting such a quarantine are the positive beings, while the negatives have their fill of human test subjects. For people like me, this quarantine only sustain suffering while no help is given by those who could easily provide it.

(I realize that according to many sources, humanity has to save itself, and should not look outside for any savior figure to free them. This is due to the principle of non-interference. However, my life has been full of nothing but interference, and as far as I can see, the game I've been forced to play has never been an even match. This is complete violation of Free Will on at least two fronts. So I either expect help, or for my abnormal version of the game to be made fair.)

Confirmation from Friends and Acquaintances

This life-long experience of abduction is not limited to my own testimony. I also have numerous friends who have observed this trauma within me. I have even met certain intuitive individuals, and these people would be able to tell me my situation even though they just met me. I am fortunate enough to have numerous awakened friends in my life who have remarkable psychic and intuitive ability. The numbers of such people have recently dwindled, but thankfully, I still have a few.

Just recently, one of my close friends told me what a mutual friend/acquaintance read from within me, and that they had also seen my issue of abduction. I had never talked to this acquaintance in depth, or shared any such information with them. I had only briefly spoken with them, yet they were intuitive enough to read this intimate detail about my life. In fact, not only did they read me, they actually had new information on my issue.

In the past, I have read and heard about people who were unfortunate enough to have have a certain type of encounters with negative E.T.'s. These people were captured, and were etherically manipulated to the point of having their souls removed. The source Cobra has referenced this concept in previous interviews. (Also, Corey Goode has mentioned etheric manipulation of some type in past interviews.) Cobra would describe how those souls would be technologically removed and taken across the galaxy to some foreign location. Here is that portion of the interview from the website PrepareForChange.org.

Lynn – This person states: A trusted friend came with me came with the following information and there’s going to be a you tube video within our link transcript that people can refer to for more information.

Pay attention to the 10 1/2-minute mark. It states that non-human beings have given man technology of the Military Industrial Extraterrestrial Complex or M.I.E.C. to remove a soul, transfer it to another body and then kill the old body. This is done though an occultist magic-technology call soul transference. So now basically the NSA can download your memory and emotions in a computer and then place it into a new clone. This person claims that when she did a ceremony with Mother Earth Creator, she showed her what was being done to ALL PEOPLE WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE, YOUNG AND PURE.
She was shown how the dark ones took our souls and manipulated our soulless bodies that were under heavy physiological control. These entities have compromised us all whether we want to believe it or not. Just because they took our soul did not mean that we were doing evil things. This happened without our consent as very, very young children. When we “wake up” and finally walked the path less traveled we are restored again. The NSA has been given E.T. technology and we are now able to create clones of us without a soul and this claim is admitted to in the above quoted video. Then this person goes on to state: “It was shown to me that this is the truth and I stand by it 100%.”

Cobra, can you comment on this.

COBRA – I would agree to most of this. There are some things that are not happening exactly as people stated. Yes, the Cabal has technology for a long time to transfer soul from one body to another body. It was happening massively during the Archon invasion from 1996. And it was happening massively and is much, much, much less now. They are not storing the memory on the computer, the soul essence on the computer. They can map the brain and memory connections inside of the brain so they can have I would say, like a dynamic photo of an inner happening of the person. It does not mean they capture the essence.
The essence of the soul person can always be set free and can be liberated. No matter what they do, they are not able to stop this process. Thanks to the actions of the light forces especially the RM this is not happening as much, and has decreased almost to zero.


This may be a very strange and unnerving subject for many to consider, and that's understandable. The reason I bring it up is because this is the information that I received about myself. The news from both my close friend and this acquaintance revealed was that most of my soul was gone. It had been taken to some unknown corner of the galaxy (or maybe farther). The intent behind this theft was that these beings made a back-up plan that in case their experiments didn't work in this lifetime, they would simply store my soul away, and use me one lifetime after another. This was the information that both my friend and the acquaintance had to share with me. These are two very intuitive people who have proven their ability over years of time, but even without these confirmations, I think I have always known.

I would tell myself that if ever I found out that I was some kind of clone, and that my real body was stored away in some stasis chamber somewhere, I would not be surprised (though I'm not a clone). I knew something was very wrong about my life, but I didn't know what. So when I heard this news of the theft of my soul, I was not that surprised. In fact, it was both affirming and maddening to hear such a thing was allowed to happen to me under a supposed "quarantine". (Though I realize the likelihood that such travesties were allowed to take place as terms for such a quarantine. If they weren't, humans may be being mutilated and eaten like cattle in broad daylight as apposed to in secret. Never the less, this is a complete violation of the Law of Free Will, according to the Law of One. Quite honestly, it makes other efforts of benevolents to supposedly honor this law seem like hypocrisy, but I try to imagine that there is some higher reason for a lifetime of this.)

It would be nice to have solid proof for all of this, but right now, all I have is the scars and spots of blood I wake up with. Aside from proof, I want to find a way to completely eliminate this nuisance. Presently, it seems that every time I make progress, it starts up again. At the moment, all I can do is hope to find someone with the knowledge of how to stop such beings permanently, and that this source will share their knowledge with me. It would be nice if forgiveness was all it took to get rid of the problem, but I learned early on that these beings take advantage of forgiveness. They see it as nothing more than weakness, and consent to continue their soulless violation of humanity. (This has proven to be true over and over again.) At this point, it seems my approach to freedom may have to be a little different than just forgiveness.

If I do have a choice as to how my life progresses, I have not been made aware of how to communicate it to those who care nothing about choice. I expect this to change immediately, as I don't see any point of acknowledging the importance of "non-interference" while such gross interference is taking place.

With regard to people like myself, it's clear that no quarantine exists, and I fail to see any reason for positive E.T.'s to sit back and let all the negatives have all the influence they want. Then again, I may have missed something.

I want my soul back, as well as every second of life, and every opportunity that was stolen from me. Any being who is 100% in Light and 100% Love who is willing to help is invited to do so. It's time to progress, but without the proper help, I won't be going very far. I'm doing all that I know how, and trying to progress all while attempting to help others do the same. It would be nice to actually receive what I try to give (as opposed to the opposite of what I give), and to have my hard work pay off in a positive way. We'll see what happens, I guess.

(I typically like to end an article on a positive note, but I honestly haven't progressed far enough to see the positive just yet. It's difficult to write right now, but I wanted to keep my readers up to date on the subject.)

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